Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers has been the cinematic talking point of the year so far, seemingly dividing opinion more than the coalition government has ever managed to do and surpassing many of this year’s Oscar worthy flicks in terms of buzz.
Reviews have been divided, there are those that fall into the ‘creative genius Harmony Korine can do no wrong’ camp and those that think that Spring Breakers is a well thought out play for column inches – four former Disney princesses stripped down to their bikinis, snorting lines of cocaine, having swimming pool threesomes and shaking their barely legal moneymakers. Probably a fair point.
For the record we thought the film was pretty okay – a little light on plausible narrative perhaps, but beautifully shot, engaging and worth the price of a cinema ticket just to see James Franco’s turn as the unnerving, corn-rowed gangster Alien. Go see it, make up your own mind and soak in the ten life lessons we learnt from Harmony Korine’s biggest hit yet.
1: Selena Gomez can act. Wizards of Waverly Place must have taught her something because when she’s being leered over by Alien in a back alley pool hall populated with actual criminals we really feel for the girl. As the scene was also entirely improvised rumour has it those tears are real. Shame her character can’t take the pace and bails.
2: Harmony Korine is a closet Britney Spears fan. There are two Britney musical interludes in the film, a vodka fuelled ‘Baby One More Time’ and a hilariously odd rendition of ‘Everytime’ that sees Alien serenade his protégés on the piano while they dance in pink ski masks brandishing AK 47s.
3: James Franco is not afraid to commit to a role. We saw him hack off his own arm in his Oscar nominated 127 Hours role and in Spring Breakers he takes his life into his own hands again by practicing his deep throat skills on a loaded gun.
4: James Franco’s Alien also informs us that the scent of ‘having it all’ is Calvin Klein Escape. Who knew?
5: If you don’t go on Spring Break you’re boring and may as well spend your holiday hiding out in a darkened apartment watching cartoons on loop. Or at church group. The only solution is quite obviously to rob a fried chicken joint.
6: However, if you do plan on ever robbing your local chicken shop all you need to do so – according to Spring Breakers - is a couple of water pistols, a malett and a furry pink shoulder bag in the shape of a mouse/cat/other fluffy animal.
7: Gucci Mane is a lame bad guy. Anyone that is wiped out by two bikini clad co-eds while wearing a giant diamond encrusted ice cream necklace and sitting in a bubble filled hot tub does not deserve the ‘bad guy’ title. Tony Montana he ain’t.
8: The ATL twins are just plain creepy. If you should ever find yourself in a rough Florida jail after a night of too much partying, don’t let them bail you out. If only the Spring Breakers ladies had heeded our warning…
9: When you get shot in the arm by a local drug dealer you’ve officially had too much fun. Go home.
10: It’s highly unlikely that Vanessa Hudgens will be cast in a High School Musical reunion anytime soon. There’s not really any going back from a wet ‘n’ wild Ashley Benson/James Franco threesome. Sorry Disney.
Spring Breakers is released nationwide on 5 April
