Art & Culture / Culture

Babies, dogs and… Dolls: The peculiar world of oddball Instagram Accounts

There comes a time where we have to admit that our weird obsession with these accounts would provoke a visit to a therapist’s office.

Ever found yourself scrolling on the gram, mindlessly, with fingers at the ready, wishing, hoping, for your pleasure to exercise your right to like? You continue on an endless trail of discovery; pretty girl after pretty girl, memes, models, art, fashion shows, the Karda- (BIG SCROLL) and then it hits you! You come across something so incongruous that you embark on a deep dive into the dreaded abyss of their brow-furrowing induced feed. You will gaze at the images but, the real reason you’re there, what’s peaked your initial attraction are the captions. Now, I know what you must be thinking? How on earth, could they possibly know what I get up to? Well, you’re not alone. Not only am I you. We all are.

There comes a time where we have to admit that our weird obsession with these accounts would provoke a visit to a therapist’s office. Don’t believe me?  Try showing someone that doesn’t have Instagram, or Twitter and see how that turns out. Outside of our echo chambers or similarly bedeviled followership, yes, society is as bonkers and otherworldly, but b honest, it isn’t normal to follow an account of a being or inanimate object, that simply cannot use it. Cannot use it, doesn’t know it exists, and is probably flirting on the inappropriate side, alas we love it, we divulge in it.

QAI Qai

Qai qai, television personality, wanderlust and doll; yielding a whopping 129k followers on Instagram and 23k on Twitter, the baby doll belonging to tech giant, Alexis Ohanion JR and Serena Williams daughter, Olympia. Amassing a cult following of Serena fans, Olympia fans and fans of a good witty caption, Qai Qai’s journey is one for the books. In a post match interview Serena told reporters,”I wanted her to have a Black doll. Growing up, I didn’t have that many opportunities to have Black dolls. And I was just thinking, I want her first doll to be Black. Obviously she’s [Olympia] mixed. She’s Caucasian and Black, [so] I said her second doll would be Caucasian.” The road to friendship has been a tale of strife and turbulences. From abandonment in a sandbox, shoved in a draw- limbs flailing out, to highflying in jets, to courtside at Williams’ matches to cross- continental excursions. Qai Qai is more a celeb than weird viral meme. Say hello to Qai Qai.

Notable Caption: this week was a movie!! i can’t thank @oprahmagazine@gayleking and @oprah enough for the opportunity to share a little bit more about myself and what i care about. i hope y’all enjoyed it.”

Link

Link Ocarina Ivy, cultural commentator, influencer and motivational speaker and orator. Bad bitch Link is the daughter of Podcaster extraordinaire, comedian and actor, Kid Fury of The Read Podcast.  Lover of a good monogram luxury fit; pearls, diamantes’ colour coordination, and the finest in doggy knitwear, Link is your average Instagram influencer. Not only can she consistently find her light, but also she couples a perfect shot with some words of wisdom.

Notable Caption: “You can’t take a bitch this bad…and you knew that. You’re welcome to stay mad. My checks clear either way.  #BadBitch#LinkVuitton

Noris Black Book

The infamous Black book; yes, I said book. The inner thoughts and workings of the North West (well… not hers per se, but for the sake of avoiding the creepiness of the ordeal we’ll go with it) delve deep, every scandal, and post show review and reaction page. With a whopping 611K Instagram followers, this is the number one stop shop for all things Kardashian spilling tea and an unfiltered, witty take on their eye rolling “drama”

Notable Caption:I called Jada and was unable to get booked at the Red Table due to scheduling conflicts, so I guess I’ll have to address this here. I want to start off by apologizing to the many, many, many people that look up to me: I’m sorry Penelope, Reign, Mason, Dream, True, Stormi, Chi, Saint, and Larsa. I have gone to great lengths to work on myself, yet I let a pair of boots trigger me. I am a work in progress; God’s not done with me yet. I hope you all understand. My personal progress was challenged when Mommy saw how good I looked in her boots and she decided to ban me from wearing them. My first instinct was to blame her for my embarrassment, but she can’t help that she is driven by jealousy and envy. Blaming her, would be blaming the victim. It’s just disappointing she feels the need publicly shame me because her sunglasses aren’t selling (I’m assuming). In the future, I hope that we can resolve our conflicts not on social media, but in private or on an episode of KUWTK like a normal family.”

12 June 2019