The LA artist made a quiet anthem for those who trust too much.
Over a quiet groove, DYLLAN tells a story of misplaced loyalty on her latest single “My Fears”. Concealed by her delicate vocal the track’s lyrics explore a personalised depression intricately linked to her feelings for someone who didn’t reciprocate.
As the song progresses, the tone shifts from fear to resignation as the protagonist disappears into the distance leaving DYLLAN to process the heartbreak. As ever, though, even the most weighted feelings are temporary, as she points out in the below interview, “a way a song always describes a moment that will eventually pass… now when I sing it I feel bittersweet, maybe a little nostalgic.”
Listen to the song and get to know DYLLAN a little better below.
“My Fears” is about going great lengths for someone else, without knowing what you’ll get in return. Talk a little bit about how that compassion, drive, and loyalty in you has evolved…
Great question! I definitely think as I’ve gotten older, my sense of what “loyalty” means has evolved. When I was younger, I would drop everything for a guy I was seeing, regardless if it negatively affected me or even sometimes my friends. That idea of “loyalty” was definitely skewed, and I didn’t create healthy boundaries for myself. It was more about not disappointing them or showing that I was “worthy,” which is just icky to think about now as a more evolved woman in my late twenties! I definitely have more loyalty to myself these days, but it’s still a challenge finding a balance. I hate disappointing people so it’s still hard for me to say no sometimes even when that’s what’s best for me.
When you wrote this song, what kind of mood were you in? What kind of mood does it put you in now?
I wrote the song a long time ago (3+ years!), so it’s interesting for me to try to get back into the same emotions, especially when I perform it live. I remember the feelings being very fresh when I wrote it – I’m pretty sure I pieced together notes I’d taken in my phone when I was sad and set them to music. I was definitely dealing with depression and anxiety at the time. I’ve grown up a lot since I wrote it, and have so much more perspective on relationships now. That’s the interesting thing about being a performer, I think – in a way a song always describes a moment that will eventually pass, and your job is to continue to bring that sense of emotion even when you’ve changed and grown as a person. Now when I sing it I feel bittersweet, maybe a little nostalgic.
What moment are you in now? Any major shifts in lyrical or musical content you’re experiencing?
I think I’m in a pretty okay moment! This year I went through an insane amount of transition and growth. I learned a lot about myself. In terms of lyrical content, I do still tend to draw inspiration from relationships but I’m also trying to write more songs about things other than love and heartbreak; I tend to draw inspiration from things that make me sad. Writing a happy song is not my forte. I am starting to branch out thematically. I wrote a new song about wanting to quit music and not giving up, which seems to resonate with people.
Tell us about your musical journey. When did you start singing and making music?
I started playing guitar when I was about eight after giving up on the piano. I was terrified of singing in front of anyone even though I was learning all these songs by singer-songwriters I admired, like Joni Mitchell, Shawn Colvin, and Jeff Buckley. Finally at age 12 I was practicing “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright” by Bob Dylan on guitar, and my dad came over and started singing it. Out of the blue I started singing it with him, and that’s how I came out of my shell. It was around that age I started to write my own songs, and it just spiraled from there. I was playing gigs in LA by age 15 and never stopped. I have stage fright every single time I perform, but I’m compelled to do it anyway. So I basically have to face my fears constantly.
What is one fear you are currently trying to confront and overcome?
One of my biggest fears is going into writing sessions, which is not great for someone who wants to do this for a living! Especially in Los Angeles, a lot of networking and getting to know other musicians is through collaboration. I’ve had this conversation with many of my peers who all say they face the same fear- going into a writing session is like going on a first date. I’m a bit of a perfectionist, too, so I expect myself to come up with something brilliant right on the spot, and going into a room with a stranger and baring my soul just doesn’t sound at all appealing. I’m really trying to work on this; it’s important to me to hone my craft and improve, and I think I can learn a lot from others.
Follow DYLLAN here.
13 November 2019