From emo superheroes to insufferable method actors — Here’s the HUNGER film awards ’23

So, it’s that time of year again for film nerds who supposedly don’t care about the Oscars to go up in arms over what artsy indie flick should have won Best Picture. And while, admittedly, we’ll still be tuning in to see the biggest night in showbiz unfold, we thought we’d take the time to present to your own set of awards for the moments in film that really matter. Who cares about Best Sound or Best Visual Effect? We’ll be cutting through all of that and getting straight to the point. From our prestigious Best Case For Abolishing The Rich award to Best Emo, you’ll find all of it here as we present to you the inaugural HUNGER Film Awards… 

Best overboard method actor – Austin Butler (Elvis)

We get it, immersing yourself into a character is a key component of acting, but every so often, we hear of a method actor who takes it to, let’s be honest, insufferable heights. That was the case for Austin Butler, whose preparation for playing the king of rock and roll included isolating himself from his family for three years and completely losing touch with who he was – practically becoming a modern reincarnation of Elvis himself (which is a horrifying yet hilarious thought). But hey, what do we know? He’s for Best actor at the (real) Oscars, so maybe it was all worth it. We doubt his family will agree, though.

Best Emo – Robert Pattinson (The Batman)

When Robert Pattinson was announced as the new caped crusader, everyone predicted this would be the most emo Batman we’ve ever seen. And they couldn’t have been more right. With a side swept fringe, smudged eyeliner and a backing track of Nirvana, Pattinson’s brooding Bruce Wayne gives off a look that says ‘Welcome To The Black Parade.’ Of course, we shouldn’t be too surprised that a vigilante motivated by bereavement might be the ultimate emo. 

We’re not crying, you are: Aftersun

Every year there’s one film that pulls at the heartstrings more than most, and with Aftersun, those heartstrings are aggressively yanked rather than pulled. What’s worse is the sadness isn’t just thrown in your face in typical stylised movie fashion; it’s deeply melancholic and even numbing, which is a million times worse. Thanks to Paul Mescal’s brilliant, emotive and heartbreaking performance as a single father battling depression on holiday with his daughter (Frankie Corio), it’s tough to hold back the tears. So, we’d recommend passing up on this one for a movie to throw on for date night – unless you have plenty of tissues to hand and don’t mind being embarrassed.

Best case for abolishing the rich: Triangle of Sadness

We’ve always been sick of the rich, but Triangle of Sadness made us despise them even more, which, to be honest, we didn’t even think was possible. As we stare down the barrel of recession, we need a comical release for our despair and frustration, and Triangle of Sadness is the perfect outlet. On a luxury yacht, its out of touch inhabitants are tended to by the staff below deck until they all become shipwrecked on a deserted island. In a true tables have turned black comedy, the wealthy get their comeuppance in a world where material goods mean nothing. And besides, who can forget that vomit scene? We know we won’t anytime soon.

Worst boss: Lydia Tár (Tár)

Being a girl boss might be the dream, but from what we’ve seen in Tár, working for one can be, to put it lightly, pretty awful. Francesca Lentini, the assistant of Lydia Tár, is ready at all times to weather the unpredictability of her volatile boss, one of the world’s greatest artists – and most terrifying forces to reckon with. She’ll try to share her opinion with her boss, but she is fundamentally there to deal with all the things, and people, Tár just can’t be bothered to add to her busy schedule. We feel your pain, Francesca.

Real star of the show: Drugs (Babylon)

Sure, this flick’s line-up is pretty much on steroids thanks to appearances from Hollywood royalty Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie, but it’s the drugs that are the real star of the show. Cocaine, heroin, morphine and more all take up more screen time than Babylon’s leading names. In fact, this became such a problem that Robbie spoke on the inescapable drug use, claiming that her friends told her “It’s a bit ridiculous how much coke there was.” Which probably hasn’t been said about any film ever.

Best bromance: Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson (The Banshees of Inisherin)

Obviously, this isn’t your typical lovey-dovey on-screen bromance. In fact, it’s a pretty terrible bromance, but still, we couldn’t get enough of it. Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson portray Pádraic and Colm, two lifelong pals on the remote island of Inisherin who find themselves at odds when the latter decides, apparently out of the blue, that they’re no longer friends. Of course, being a Martin McDonagh flick, it’s brought to the edge of tragic absurdity as Colm threatens to snip off his fingers until Pádraic will leave him alone. Finally, an accurate depiction of friendship in film.

The Multitasker: Michelle Yeoh (Everything Everywhere All At Once)

As you’d probably guess, deciding the winner of this award wasn’t exactly a long and arduous process. I mean, if travelling through multiple dimensions, becoming a rock or a kung fu fighting actress, isn’t multitasking, then we don’t know what is. In this multiverse epic, Michelle Yeoh (who plays Evelyn) is thrust into a number of universes that are all absurd as each other. Not only does she master hot dog fingers, she’s also pretty adept at sign spinning – a true multitasker if we do say so ourselves.

The loveable patriot: Tom Cruise (Top Gun: Maverick)

We’re pretty sure if you put Pete Mitchell’s blood under a microscope, you wouldn’t find DNA – it would be USA (apologies for that terrible joke). We’re all used to the patriotic action hero trope by now, but Cruise managed to pull it back from absurdity and bring to life a patriot that’s actually (can’t believe we’re saying this) quite loveable. His charm and friendship with Miles Teller (Bradley Bradshaw) had us falling for him pretty hard and made us think, “maybe patriots aren’t so bad.” Then we remembered this is a piece of fiction.