Tess Holliday guides us through Valentine’s Day
Ah, it’s that time of year again. Clinton Cards is packed, Interflora have ran out of roses and Tinder / Grindr are having their servers crashed by lonely lovers. Valentine’s Day seems to get more and more popular by the year – not even the Netflix and Chill generation have managed to shun the age old act of buying a cheap card and chocolates for your significant other.
So in recognition of Saint Valentine, we called upon the help of model and body positivity activist Tess Holiday to help us get in the Valentine’s Day spirit. Holliday knows a thing or two about love. You only have to skim the pages of her book, The Not So Subtle Art of Being a Fat Girl: Loving the Skin You’re In, to know that she’s had her fair share of dating mishaps.
We grabbed a moment with her to soak up some of her pro dating tips, exploring everything from top top love songs to the one celebrity she’d love to go on a date with.
Disneyland! They have it decorated all cute for Disneyland – we can hold hands, wear matching Mickey ears, eat all the snacks, and do all the things!
If I’m honest, I’ve never even been on a date that blew me away… like I’ve had a nice times on dates before, but there isn’t one that stands out to me.
Oh god, where do I start? I’ve been on so many. I would say the one that stands out most is one that I talk about in my book. I met this guy online and he came to pick me up at my place, and when I went to his car he told me that he had to breathe into this breathalyzer tube inside his truck before he could start the car because he had recently gotten a DUI. Then in about 10 minutes into the car ride he had to do it again. I was uncomfortable, but I tried to look past it. Then we get to the restaurant and he starts to tell me that he isn’t really attracted to me because of my size, AND doesn’t want to pay for dinner. The nerve.
Take yourself on a date, buy yourself flowers, or chocolate… whatever makes you smile. Last year I did a Galentine‘s party with about 20 of my friends at my house and it was the cutest day of my life. So if you don’t want to be alone on that day, call a friend and spend time with them. Celebrate the love you have in your life that isn’t romantic.
“Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac
It’s a mood. It’s romantic, unapologetic, and has zero chill. Like me.
“I will follow you into the dark” by Death Cab for Cutie
I love this song because it reminds me of my emo youth days and how hard I would fall in love with literally everyone I met (God I still do that!) It’s nostalgic for me, I love the lyrics and it never gets old.
“Skinny Love” by Bon Iver
Again with the nostalgia, but this song makes me feel ALL the feels. It’s beautiful and resonates with me in so many ways.
I’ve never had a famous person slide into my DM‘s in a romantic way, but I did freak out when Mindy Kaling messaged me with sweet words!
Can Post Malone just take me on a date already? Damn. I like his energy, his music, and he is a Cancer like me. We can wear rhinestones, cry, and be the cute sensitive people we are.
Assume you’re going to have sex. Intimacy is different for a lot of people and for some, that doesn’t always mean sex. Also just because you take someone on a fancy date doesn’t mean they owe you anything.
Let yourself feel it all. Spend time on you, invest in your mental health, your heart and, invest in healing. Healing looks different to everyone – it could mean surrounding yourself with friends, taking up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, a lot of therapy… or all of those things. Be gentle with yourself and know that you’re a bad ass bitch who can handle anything.
